Tales of the Exile: Quest for Turkey
by Cyrus Truth
Summary: Taking a break from writing fanfiction, the Wayward Warrior Cyrus Truth takes some time to gather the fixings for a Thanksgiving Day dinner. But when he's missing the main course, how far is he willing to go to claim it? Review...it's Thanksgiving!


**This story is dedicated to all my faithful readers and reviewers. Thanks, guys...you've made it all possible.**

**Hope you enjoy the story. And have a Happy Thanksgiving wherever you are!**

* * *

My name is Cyrus Truth. I am also known as the "Exile."

And what was supposed to be a simple errand turned into a living nightmare.

Today was supposed to be a simple trip down the Long and Winding Road. After all, Thanksgiving's tomorrow, and even a Wayward Warrior needs to prepare a Thanksgiving's Day feast. I managed to collect most of what I needed: mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans and cream of mushroom soup for a green bean casserole…hell, I somehow managed to score a pumpkin pie!

But I still lacked the one item I needed to complete Thanksgiving dinner…

"What do you mean, you're out of turkeys?" I shouted at a turkey farmer whose farm was off a ways from the Long and Winding Road.

"I didn't stutter. And it's not only me…every turkey farmer and grocery store's run clean out of turkeys," the farmer calmly explained in a stereotypical unrefined drawl. "Even if I had a turkey, it'd be a cold day in hell before I just give you one without you paying for it."

"I told you I would've exchanged labor for the turkey!" I replied angrily. "You know what? That doesn't even matter now. Since you don't have a turkey, I don't have any reason to be here. I say 'good day' to you, sir!"

The farmer didn't even bat an eyelash as I turned around and stomped off in a huff, my heavy boots causing dust to rise and cling to my black cloak. As I returned to the Long and Winding Road, I started to wonder what the heck I was going to do.

"Man, what the heck am I going to do?" I muttered to myself. "It's not Thanksgiving if there's no turkey. If I don't find one, I'm going to have to resort to ham…and that's just not the same!"

"You say you're looking for a turkey?" a gruff, shifty voice asked from behind me.

I spun around as a short man wearing a fedora and a brown overcoat was walking up to me. His hat was pulled down enough to where you couldn't see his eyes, but his lips were curled up into a sinister-looking smile. Instinctively, I dropped into a fighting stance, my trademark driftwood cane held tightly in my left hand.

"Relax," the short man ordered. "I'm not looking for a fight. Just looking to help out a fellow traveler."

"And who the hell are you supposed to be?" I demanded.

"Nobody important. That is, unless you're looking for a turkey. In which case, I'm about as important as they come. You are looking for a turkey, aren't you?"

"And what if I am?"

The short man chuckled as he explained, "I happen to know where you can find a turkey. Not just any turkey, but the biggest, juiciest, most delicious turkey you've ever eaten. It's the only turkey that hasn't been claimed yet, so you still have a chance to score it for yourself."

"Where is it?" I asked, my apprehension slowly changing to curiosity.

The short man nodded as he turned toward the north. "Follow the Long and Winding Road until you see a broken stop sign next to a dirt path. That dirt path will take you up a mountain. On top of that mountain is the turkey."

"You can't be serious," I replied accusingly. "First off, what's a turkey doing on top of a freaking mountain? Second, why hasn't anyone gotten this turkey? And three, how in the hell do you know about this and why are you telling me?"

"What, you don't trust me?" the short man said with a cackle.

I shook my head. "Hell no!"

"Well, I speak the Truth. And my reasons and motivations are my own. Anyway, if you still want the turkey, you better hurry. Can't say for certain it'll be there for much longer…"

The short man turned around and ran off into a dark alley as I shouted at him to stop. When that didn't work, I was left alone to contemplate what I was going to do. Thanksgiving was tomorrow, and I did need a turkey…

"Oh, what the hell?" I said to myself. "I guess I don't really have a choice. Better get a move on."

With that, I turned towards the north and started my trip up the Long and Winding Road. Despite my suspicions, even I had no idea what awaited me on this journey…

* * *

Two hours of wandering later, I found the broken stop sign and the dirt path that short man was talking about…at least, I hoped it was. I turned to walk down the path, which led me into forest at the base of a mountain. Shaking my head at just how ridiculous this whole ordeal was, I nevertheless continued moving forward.

After several minutes of walking on the path and into the forest, I heard the distinctive calling of a certain large avian…along with the sound of light footsteps running towards me.

I turned in the direction the footsteps were coming from as a large, four-pointed shuriken came careening towards me, looking to slice my head off. I ducked as the shuriken flew over my head and returned to its thrower: a very familiar-looking ninja.

"Yuffie Kisaragi?" I said, somewhat stupefied. "How in the…where in the…what in the name of all things good and Truthful are you doing here?"

"Ha, ha! Too stunned to see the beautiful White Rose of Wutai, eh?" the perky ninja replied in a superior tone. "Can't say I blame you, Cyrus!"

"Hold it, hold it!" I demanded. "First off, how are you here? This is reality…isn't it? And how in hell's name do you know who I am?"

"Silly Exile!" Yuffie quipped. "Reality is an illusion…or something like that. Anyway, don't question it for the sake of the story. And everyone knows who you are…the Repentant Reaper, the Wayward Warrior, and the Master of Review Beg Jokes! Now stop asking so many questions! You've got a challenge to face!"

"Challenge? What challenge?"

Yuffie's grin grew wider as she explained, "You didn't think getting the Grand Turkey was going to be simple, did you? Nah, you've got to earn it through a series of challenges. Mine just happens to be first."

Yuffie then pointed in a direction that led deeper into the forest. "Wild chocobos and chicobos live in this forest. Your challenge is to catch one before I do! The only rule is that you are not allowed to use weapons or magic to catch them. Alrighty?"

"And what's the point of this?" I asked, still not believing what I was about to put myself through.

"Gawd, do you always ask so many stupid questions? Just go and do what you're told like a good boy. Ready, set, go!"

Before I could stop her, she dashed off in the direction where the chocobo "warks" and "kwehs" were coming from. Shaking my head, I followed her, hoping that by completing this so-called "challenge" would help me get some answers from the ninja.

After a minute of running, I finally made it to the clearing that Yuffie was referring to, where dozens of chocobos were running wild and free. From the corner of my eye, I saw Yuffie running after a chocobo, trying to jump on its back and ride it into submission. Unfortunately, the chocobo was a bit too clever for that as it used one of its powerful legs to kick Yuffie out of the air and sent her flying back. She landed on her butt hard as I stood there and laughed.

"This is your challenge?" I shouted mockingly. "I thought the whole point of challenging someone was to prove you were better than they were!"

"Oh, shut up!" Yuffie screamed back. "At least I'm trying! What have you done except stand there and gawk?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Yuffie," I replied as I walked towards a familiar-looking plant. "Besides, I've already won."

I knelt down and picked the plant as I calmly walked over to a nearby chocobo and held out the plant. Quizzically, the chocobo looked at the plant as I calmly said, "It's all right. Come on, take it."

The chocobo cautiously walked towards me as it hesitated for a brief second. Finally, it went for the greens I had in my hand and allowed me to wrap my arm around its neck softly. I looked at Yuffie as she stood there with her mouth open in shock.

"Gysahl greens," I said confidently. "Gets the chocobos every time."

"Hey! That's not fair! You cheated!" Yuffie complained as I let my chocobo go.

"I never cheat," I explained. "You said the only rule was that we couldn't use weapons or magic. Well, I don't think gysahl greens count as either. So I win. Where's the turkey?"

Yuffie looked at me with a confused look as she started laughing. "Are you serious? Didn't you hear me before? I'm only the first challenge you have to overcome. There are three more you gotta meet before you get the prize. The next one's up the mountain path. Good luck, Exile!"

With that, Yuffie tossed a smoke grenade at her feet, attempting to disappear like a true ninja. However, once the smoke cleared, I could see that her grand escape was foiled by an exposed root catching her foot, tripping her up.

She was cursing under her breath as I walked up to her and extended my hand. "Need a hand, Yuffie?"

Yuffie looked at me like I had turned into a giant bug, but smiled as she took my peace offering and allowed me to help her back up to her feet. "You know, you're not so bad, Truth. Hope you make it to the end…and Happy Thanksgiving."

Yuffie turned around and ran out of the forest back towards the Long and Winding Road, as I turned towards the nearby mountain path. I took a deep breath as I started moving forward once again, hoping that whatever other "challenges" I'd have to deal with would be as easy as this one.

Of course, knowing my luck, they wouldn't be.

* * *

The mountain path, despite looking like it hadn't been walked in ages, was still in decent shape. There were no handrails or anything preventing any unsuspecting travelers from falling off the side of the mountain, but it was wide enough that anyone being even slightly careful could walk on with confidence. For close to twenty minutes I walked the mountain path, anxious to see what else would try and ruin my day. I finally made it to a large circular outcropping when I started to sense something approaching from above.

"BOOYA, BITCHES!" a loud, hyperactive voice shouted as I backed away from the source. Seconds later, a spiky-blonde haired fighter with a tribal tattoo on his face hit the ground, leaving a decent-sized crater beneath him.

"Well, this is unfortunate," I said as my grip on my cane tightened. "Zell Dincht…so you're my next challenge?"

"You got that right, Cyrus!" Zell replied in his usual overactive tone. "In order to move further up the mountain, you gotta beat me in a fight! And you gotta do it without any weapons or magic!"

"Say what? How in the hell is that fair? You're a trained martial artist! How exactly am I supposed to beat you?"

"Hey, that's not my problem!" Zell replied. "You're the one who wanted the Grand Turkey, so you have no choice but to answer my challenge…unless you want to back down."

That last statement got me angry as I gently placed my cane down on the ground. "I'm an Exile, and I never stop moving forward…no matter what the obstacle is. Bring it on, Zell!"

I didn't have to say it twice as Zell rushed at me with inhuman speed, and it took everything I had to dodge his first attack. However, Zell, ever the master fighter, was still able to strike me in the chest with a powerful roundhouse kick.

I gasped for air as Zell crouched down, gathering energy for his Duel Limit Break. Once he had finished, he ran at me and started shouting out fighting moves as he delivered them with unreal force.

"Punch Rush!" Zell shouted as he hit me three times in quick succession with his fists. I was already reeling, but Zell wasn't letting up.

"Mach Kick!" the spiky-haired fighter exclaimed as his right shin connected with my left temple, dizzying me to the point where I couldn't tell up from down. He then followed that up by shouting, "Meteor Strike!" as he picked me up and tossed me to the ground near the side of the mountain. My body left a deep crater as I used what was left of my strength to climb up and get back to my feet.

"Wow," Zell said as his shoulders burned with powerful fire, signifying that a Burning Rave was coming up next. "Didn't think you could survive that! I'm impressed, but now I gotta end this. Sorry, Truth."

"I'm sorry, too…" I said in between gasps for breath, "…sorry you're such a chicken-wuss."

"SAY WHAT? WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Zell shouted as he punched the ground in anger, splitting it open and sending it towards me. I managed to use what little strength I had left to dodge the Burning Rave's powerful explosion. My back was up against the wall as Zell stared at me with a crazed look in his eyes.

"No one…calls me…a CHICKEN-WUSS!" he shouted as he rushed at me, blind with rage. To this day, I will never understand why such a childish taunt got under Zell's skin, but it was just what I needed as I waited for the last possible moment to dodge as Zell's body and momentum met the side of the mountain, cracking the rock and leaving Zell woozy. Not missing a beat, I grabbed Zell in a reverse headlock as I snapped off a quick DDT, driving Zell's head into the hard ground, knocking him out.

I struggled to return to my feet as I said to the unconscious Zell, "You really need to calm down, man. Can't let insults distract you…especially lame ones. Hope you can forgive me for the DDT, but I have to get moving. Happy Thanksgiving, Zell."

I picked up my cane and walked further up the mountain, but not before glancing back at Zell and muttering with a smile, "Chicken-wuss…heh, heh."

* * *

It was now past noon, and I had reached what I could only hope was the halfway point up the mountain. I still couldn't believe that I was going through all this for a damned turkey, but I kept telling myself that it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without it. Besides, as an Exile, I've never stopped moving forward and I had no intention of starting that day.

I had just turned a bend when I came across a mountainside waterfall emptying into a spring. Thankful to find a place to get a drink and rest, I headed for the spring. Before I could cup my hands and take a drink, a feminine, diabolical voice said over the sound of falling water:

"And thus the wanderer seeks repose, but finds nothing but despair. Such is the tragedy of the Exile…"

My eyes rolled to the back of my head in annoyance as I turned to see who the voice belonged to. To my dismay, it belonged to a certain silver-haired thespian with a penchant for dressing in way too revealing clothes for a man.

"Kuja," I said with gritted teeth. "So now I have to deal with the most gender-confused villain in Final Fantasy history. Lucky me."

"So very nice to meet you, Cyrus," Kuja said in his arrogant, snide tone. "I must admit, I didn't expect you to get past the first two acts. But I am very grateful to step out on stage for the first time in a long time."

"Okay, before you continue babbling on and telling me what my challenge is, let me ask you something," I demanded. "Why do you not wear pants?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why. Don't. You. Wear. Pants?" I repeated slowly. "Seriously, do you ever wonder why you end up in so many slash fics? You dress like a two-dollar tramp trying to pass herself off as an actress…and this is made all the more confusing by the fact that you're a guy!"

"Um, I'm afraid I don't quite understand…" Kuja replied, sounding legitimately confused.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Never mind. So, what do I have to do to get past you and get that damn turkey?"

"Oh, right! Of course," Kuja said, his creepy smile returning to his face. "It's quite simple. You need only freeze this waterfall and you may proceed."

"Freeze the waterfall? How in the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"Simple. Use magic," Kuja explained, making it sound like the easiest thing in the world to do.

"Um, yeah…there's a slight problem with that," I replied. "I can't use magic."

"Well, that would be a problem," Kuja admitted. "But the only way to get to the Grand Turkey is by climbing the waterfall. And you can't do that without freezing it. So, I'm afraid this is where your journey ends. Too bad, so sad. This theatrical performance ends in tragedy for the hero after all."

"Not quite," a female voice said from the water. As Kuja and I turned to see who was speaking, an ice crystal jutted up from the center of the spring. It shattered into a thousand shards, revealing a familiar blue-skinned maiden wearing a darker blue bikini.

"Shiva," Kuja muttered under his breath as I couldn't help but stare. Shiva turned her attention to me and said with a wink, "You can stop gawking, human."

"Right, sorry!" I said, flustered at seeing the beautiful summon. "Pleased to meet you, my Lady."

"Oh, there's no need for formalities," Shiva replied. "Besides, I'm here to help you move on."

"Seriously? You'll freeze the waterfall for me?"

"That is what you need, isn't it?" Shiva asked teasingly. Her tone became deathly serious as she continued, "But I do need something from you."

"Um, what's that?" I inquired nervously.

Shiva walked up to me as Kuja backed off and disappeared in a flash of light, not wanting to deal with any shenanigans from the Ice Maiden. Shiva got within inches of my face as she said in a low tone, "Will you…invite us summons to your Thanksgiving Day party?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Sure, no problem. Think you can freeze the waterfall for me, then?"

"No problem," Shiva replied, her smile returning to her face as she turned to face the waterfall. Icy energy gathered at her fingertips as she unleashed her Diamond Dust attack, freezing the spring, waterfall, and the surrounding mountainside in thick ice.

Shiva turned back around to face me as she said, "There. Your path is open, human. What time should I tell the others to show up at the Exile's Lair?"

"One o'clock," I answered. "Just in time to catch the football games. But…try and keep Ifrit nice and calm. Last thing I need is a house fire."

"Consider it done. Good luck, wanderer."

With that, Shiva disappeared in a flash as Kuja reappeared in front of me. "Well, this is a first. The lovely maiden saves the hero from certain doom. But it was magnificent. You have passed the challenge, Exile. The Grand Turkey and your final task remain up the frozen waterfall."

"So, you're not going to try and backstab me?" I asked tentatively. "You are a villain, after all. How do I know you're not going to cast a Flare Star while I climbing?"

"You have absolutely nothing to worry about," Kuja reassured me. "I actually achieved redemption at the end of Final Fantasy IX, so I'm no longer technically a villain…so feel free to completely trust me!"

"Yeah…whatever," I said, not believing him but at that point not caring. "All right, see you later. And seriously, consider investing in pants."

Kuja shot me another confused look as I ran towards the waterfall and focused my energy into my cane, transforming it from its driftwood appearance into my weapon of choice: the blood-red scythe called "Final Chapter."

Using Final Chapter's blade as a crude pickaxe, I started scaling the frozen waterfall, creating new handholds and footholds in the ice as I kept moving up. My hands started to become numb from the cold, but I kept moving upwards towards my goal…

The Grand Turkey and the completion of my perfect Thanksgiving dinner…

* * *

Thirty minutes of climbing later, and I finally reached the top of the mountain.

Needless to say, it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

Nestled inside the mountaintop was a temple bearing the image of Hironobu Sakaguchi. The doors leading inside were under his mustache as I grabbed Final Chapter, rested it on my shoulder, and walked reluctantly towards the holy building.

The doors opened slowly as I walked inside, sore and cold from my journey up the mountain. The hallway I found myself in was lined with the statues of some of Final Fantasy's greatest characters, and I had to admit that it was an interesting trip down memory lane. Still, I decided not to spend too much time sightseeing and reliving old nostalgia as I continued walking down the hall.

At the end of the hall, I came across another series of large, ornate doors. However, unlike the first ones, these particular doors refused to open. At this point, I was too tired to even wonder how I could get past this particular obstacle when a gruff, older voice said from the shadows behind me:

"Interesting…you managed to survive."

I turned to see where the voice was coming from, already not looking forward to what I had to deal with. "All right, that's it. I don't care who or what you are, because at this point I'm well past the point of giving a crap. So come on out here and tell me what I need to do to get my damn turkey."

"Very well," the voice grunted as a tall figure wearing an opened red overcoat stepped out of the shadows and stood in front of me. He wore a pair of wire-framed sunglasses, a high collar that hid his face, and he carried a large katana that was as long as he was tall.

"Fuck me," I swore as I recognized this man. "Auron…"

"Honestly, I'm surprised anyone was able to make it this far," Auron said with a slight chuckle. "After all, it's just for a turkey."

"I've been trying to tell myself that ever since I had to go chocobo wrangling," I conceded.

"Then why are you here?"

"It's simple," I said as grabbed Final Chapter with both hands and dropped into a fighting stance. "I am an Exile and loyal follower of the Code. When I start something, I see it through to the end. No matter what the obstacles…and in this case, no matter how ridiculous the destination and goal happens to be. So let's get this over with so I can grab my turkey and get the hell off this crazy train."

Auron, who had his left arm tucked inside his jacket, immediately thrust his left arm in the air as he shouldered his katana and dropped into a ready stance. "The task is simple. Face me in combat. If you don't die, you'll get the Grand Turkey. Hope you're ready…if not, I will end your story here and now."

Just as Auron finished speaking, I rushed him in the blink of an eye and brought Final Chapter's blade down in front of him, intentionally missing. "Trust me…I'm ready."

Auron nodded as he backed off and crouched down, gathering energy. "You shouldn't have held back."

With that, Auron rushed me with his katana, bringing the heavy blade down in an overhead chop with only his right arm. I used Final Chapter's shaft to block Auron's cleave, but I found that the elder swordsman's sheer strength made it difficult to hold back the katana. Auron continued to hack at my scythe, wearing me down to the point that I was on my knees and unable to continue blocking.

"Farewell," Auron calmly said as he grabbed his blade with both hands and swung the blade horizontally, aiming to slice my head off. It took all my reserves to will my limbs to move and duck out of the way, surprising the unsent warrior. Then, in an instant, I used Final Chapter to trip Auron and force him to fall. Running on nothing but pure adrenaline, I got back to my feet and brought my scythe's blade down, looking to impale the grounded warrior.

Unfortunately, Auron had other ideas.

Without ever batting an eyelash, Auron took his left hand and grabbed Final Chapter's blade, surprising the hell out of me and preventing me from driving my blade into Auron's chest. Calmly, he held onto my weapon and wrenched from my hands, leaving me defenseless.

Auron, his body now covered in pyreflies, rose back to his feet and grabbed his fallen katana. Without Final Chapter, I was wide open for Auron to land one final blow…

"That's enough," Auron said as he drove his blade's tip into the ground and tucked his arm back into his coat. He turned and headed for the temple's entrance.

At this point, I have no idea what the hell is going on. "Hey, wait just a damn minute! What's going on here? I thought I had to beat you to win!"

"I never said you had to beat me," Auron explained, his back still turned to me. "I simply said you had to fight me and live. Unless you want to die…"

"Uh, no, no, no!" I nervously stammered. "So, the challenge is over then? The turkey's mine?"

"Well, you still have to get it, but you'll find the path's now open to you. See you later, Exile…I'm interested in seeing how your story ends."

With that, Auron disappeared in a cloud of pyreflies as the doors leading deeper into the Sakaguchi Temple opened up. I gathered myself, picked up Final Chapter, and walked through the second doorway and down a tunnel.

Several minutes of walking later, and I could finally see my goal. There, illuminated by a single ray of light from the ceiling and sitting on a pedestal, was the biggest, most delicious-looking turkey I had ever seen in my life. Seeing the magnificently roasted bird sitting under a glass cover made my mouth water and almost made my trip up that accursed mountain worth all the insanity and agony.

Almost.

Either way, I was seconds away from claiming my prize when I felt something ominous approaching me…something that seems to stare into the very depths of my soul, something that reeked of pure, unadulterated evil…

I turned to face the horror that awaited me, and I could not believe what I saw.

"No," I muttered, half confused, half angry, and half scared (that's how screwed up I was…three freaking halves!). "Not you…it can't be you! This is impossible!"

The face of pure darkness…Dr. Phil.

"Cyrus Truth, what in the heck are you doing?" Dr. Phil said in his thick Texan drawl. "You went through all this trouble for that turkey? What are you thinking?"

"Shut up!" I shouted as I held my scythe tightly in my hand. Dr. Phil, completely ignoring me, walked around me until he was standing in between me and the Grand Turkey.

"You know what your problem is, Truth?" Dr Phil continued in his insipid, know-it-all tone. "You don't think about the consequences of your actions! Guess what; it ain't all about you!!"

"What in the hell does that have to do with anything, you wannabe intellectual?!" I screamed.

Dr. Phil continued ignoring me as he walked up to the Grand Turkey. "This right here? This turkey symbolizes your perceived need to continue walking down the Long and Winding Road, instead of falling in line with the rest of society. I'm going to do you a favor and show you where this path of yours is leading you…"

With that, Dr. Phil took the glass cover off the Grand Turkey and proceeded to smash it with his fist, ruining the bird completely. I stood there in shock, watching as the thing I had fought so hard for was being destroyed by the sorry example for a therapist. Once he was finished, he turned back to me, his hand covered in turkey bits with a sick smile on his face.

"Those who don't listen to reason…don't listen to me end up getting destroyed. It's all in my new book…"

"YOU BASTARD!" I roared. "You pathetic piece of shit! It's bad enough that you dispense common knowledge as revolutionary ideas and sell it for a profit to people who should know better, not to mention that you claim to have such insight into the trials and tribulations of humanity without having gone through them yourself. But now you dare try and tell me that my path is the wrong one? And you destroy what I fought so hard to attain? Oh…you're so dead, McGraw…"

Dr. Phil looked very nervous as my grip on Final Chapter turned my knuckles white. "Now, now, wait just a minute there…"

"GO TO HELL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I lunged at Dr. Phil, who nervously ran away. I chased him with Final Chapter high above my head as we both ran out of the temple towards the edge of the mountain. Dr. Phil, having run completely out of room, stood at the precipice, sweating nervously as I walked up to him, slowly and purposely.

"Now, Cyrus…this is not healthy behavior," Dr. Phil explained, almost pleadingly. "Just let me go and all will be forgiven. Okay?"

"Yeah…no. Have a nice trip, Dr. Phil!"

With that, I delivered a vicious thrust kick to Dr. Phil's gut, sending the television guru flying off the side of the mountain screaming in terror. The last thing I heard Dr. Phil say as he plummeted to the ground was his voice trailing, "It …ain't…about…you…"

As I watched Dr. Phil McGraw fall, I took a deep breath, letting some of my anger out…but not all of it. Dejected and well and truly pissed-off, I turned Final Chapter back into my traveling cane as I headed for the path back down the mountain.

* * *

Defeated, I walked sadly back down the Long and Winding Road to the Exile's Lair. While my home will always be the path least trodden, I still need a place to eat and sleep…hence the need for my lair.

Disappointed in my failure, I relegated myself to coming up with a half-decent excuse to my Thanksgiving Day dinner guests why I didn't have a turkey (and suffering the wrath of several angry summons). Sighing, I opened my door and turned on the lights.

"SURPRISE!"

The sound of dozens of voices shouting in unison startled me as I looked to see my lair occupied by several familiar faces. In fact, all of my reviewers for both my stories "The Rise of the Repentant" and "When Gods Rise Again" were all in attendance, greeting me with cheers. Kairi-loves-Sushi, BestInInfluence, Lionel, butcherthegirl, Ally Todd, trevorami, Hiiro Mizutani, ExtremeuGamer…everybody that had supported me in my side hobby of writing were standing there, party hats on and drinks in their hands.

"What's going on?" I finally managed to stammer. One of my faithful reviewers and good friends, the Duelist of Dawn walked up to me and explained:

"Well, it's like this: my man Machina did a little investigating and learned that today was your birthday. We knew you'd be totally worrying about getting a turkey for Thanksgiving, so I made a few calls and got some people together. Figured after your errand you could use a little bit of a pick-me up. So, yeah…it's party time!"

I held my head low as I somberly replied, "But, I failed. I didn't get the turkey."

"Don't sweat it!" the Duelist of Dawn explained as he slapped my back. "Not every one of your journeys can end in success, can they? You're still alive, and we got you covered on that turkey. Take a look."

The crowd of reviewers split as Kairi-loves-Sushi opened up my refrigerator. There, sitting on the middle rack, was a very large turkey, ready for the roaster. Seeing that bird in my fridge really did lift my spirits as Duelist handed me a beer.

"Happy birthday, Exile!" Duelist said as he extended his hand.

I smiled as I shook his hand. "Happy Thanksgiving, Duelist…"

I turned to my other guests as I said, "Well, what are you all standing there for? Crank up the 360, play me some rock, and let's get this party started!"

Everyone cheered as someone cranked the music up and the party got in full swing. Well into the night, my reviewers and I danced and drank and lived it up big time. Everyone was having such a good time until someone knocked down my door carrying a chainsaw.

"MWOHOHOHO!" cackled the red-suited demon, Santa Claus as he burst into my lair. "Cyrus Truth! The only thing I'd be thankful for this Thanksgiving is spilling your blood and ending your life. So prepare to…huh? Who are all these people?"

I smiled as my cane morphed into Final Chapter. "Guys? Who wants to play 'Kick Kringle's Ass?'"

Everyone shouted their approval as they grabbed their respective weapons and rushed Santa, forcing the rotund villain to run out of my lair and flee for his life. I couldn't stop laughing as we chased Santa up and down the Long and Winding Road all night…

"_Best…birthday…ever!" _I thought to myself as I continued chasing Kringle, my reviewers not far behind me.

* * *

**Moral of the Story: **

**_Even if you stumble on the Long and Winding Road, your true friends will be there to help pick you back up…by breaking into your house and throwing one hell of a party._**

**_So never stop moving forward and never stop rocking out. The Long and Winding Road is a hard path to walk, but nothing good ever comes easy!_**

**_Oh yeah…and Dr. Phil is the face of evil._**

**_And kicking Santa's ass is FUN!_**

**See you all on the Long and Winding Road,**

"**The Exile" Cyrus Truth**


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